Hiking Adventure Part 2 and Today's Adventure!

I absolutely am in love with this top picture. The trees look majestic and powerful over Luis. 

I had a whole to-do list today: class until 12, school work until 5 (if I didn't have work) then maybe some free time for me afterwards. But I found some of my favorite episodes of Law and Order SVU were on, and my sister invited me to Tapioca Express! Planning works most of the times, but sometimes I find it especially...rewarding when I just am. Stressing out about school and work and the future won't really help me; I'd rather calm down and connect with my sister who I don't see a lot of. 

my beautiful twin:)

This quote pretty much sums up my feelings today: "Consider slowing down and letting progress + contentment come to you." - Danielle Dowling
Yumm caramel milk tea with tapioca balls! So deliciously sugary! 

Don't mind my dirty bathroom, I have some major cleaning to do this week. I'm cleaning out my closet and getting ready for the sale my sister and I are having in the next few weeks. Hooray for inspiring projects!


Have a great restful day!
Danielle

Tips for Emotional Stress

Hi! I hope everyone is doing super super awesome this week:) It's started out to be the most gorgeous week ever! But, for some reason, I'm sad. Or rather, sadness hits me at random times (like this week, grr). In order to combat this, I've adopted some practices that I use in order to not be a funsuck to all of my friends!

First of all, don't ever hold everything in without some way of release; usually all of the feelings you've bottled up inside comes out in extremely unhealthy ways, whether it be physically or mentally. For me, holding things in creates almost a pressure inside me, and when I have a sudden rush of emotions all at once, everything comes out as a teary emotional rant usually aimed at my poor family and friends. (I'm sorry, guys!) Other times, I restrict my eating to deal with all the  emotions I feel. The picture above is one of me a few months ago during one of these times. I was down to 100 pounds. 

What I recommend is journaling often (whenever emotions hit you). Steve Pavlina believes that journaling can help a person gain clarity, and work through emotional problems. I personally fell off the journaling bandwagon ages ago, but I always try to write a few times a month to get stuff off my chest. And I don't always write about my issues! Sometimes I jot down hair colors I would like to have, draw shoes I want to wear, and list other personal goals. Sitting down and writing everything down makes me focus on me, and what I can do to change things in my life. Yay personal development!

My other tip is to cry weekly. It sounds kinda ridiculous, but trust me, it's the best thing ever. It basically works the same as journaling: you gather everything, every emotion, negative thought, and cry.them.out. And don't cry like an actress in a romantic movie, cry ugly and loud! My boyfriend gave me this advice almost a year ago, and we both agree that it is seriously relaxing afterwards. Try them both, or something else (like an all-day movie watching marathon!), and find what is best for you.

Danielle

In a ton of pain:(

wet hair:)

I got off my meds recently because I'm afraid that my birth control will interfere with something.
Wrong idea.
I drank a Monster yesterday, and the pain was absolutely horrible. It was the worst stomach pain ever. I have a thing: when I'm in pain, I feel like I'm rotting from the inside out. I don't want to be sick (who does?); I feel weak, un-sexy, and overall disgusting. My boyfriend didn't understand...
This morning the pain was back, even though I ate light sodium chicken noodle that normally wouldn't bother my stomach. I'm cooking roasted veggies right now, and I'm hoping that it won't hurt me!
The good thing about the pain is that it forces me to eat healthy. The bad thing is that I have to eat or else it's unbearable. And sometimes, my mind wants my body stop eating in order to lose weight. It's a lose-lose situation right now.


Danielle

Let's pretend it's summer

My little brother walked in the room a minute ago, smiled, and said he dropped out of the 11th grade. I'm not supposed to be smoking. Well, I can now, but not in a few weeks when I get on birth control. Hookah (and fantastic music) relaxes me though. I smell like peach!
My brother can handle himself. everything will be fine. There is never a reason to worry about things that are out of our control. Pretend that it's summer and have fun:)


Danielle

Making Decisions or Why I Ditched the Love of My Life

6 months after my mother broke up my ex-fiance and I (which is a whole ridiculous other story), 19 year old Luis Hernandez messaged me on myyearbook.com asking me what type of music I like. Expecting the usual sexual "ohhh baby, you so fine lemme get on that" message, his conversation was literally refreshing. Two months later, at 11:30 pm at a North Dallas Denny's, he rested his forehead against mine and asked me (for the millionth time it felt like) to be his girlfriend. And I finally accepted.

I was initially attracted to Luis because we were exact opposites: he's sane, logical, not interested in material things, and I'm definitely not like that;p He has impeccable taste in music and movies (although I'm more into drama and he's obsessed with comedy). I learned so much from dating him though-he's a fantastic teacher. So why did we break up?

There are so many reasons (or excuses, rather). Mainly, I gave up on us because I was trying to find balance in my life. Overwhelmed with all the responsibilities thrust on me (and also a pregnancy scare that really messed with my emotions), I couldn't stop myself from taking all my feelings out on the person closest to me. I hurt Luis, with whatever I could to hurt him, to make myself feel better. I'm still in the process of forgiving myself for what I put him through (this article in particular has helped me bunches). After basically putting up with my depressed, angry self for a few months, I decided I needed a change. The best thing I could think of was "taking a break" from Luis.


Now he's 21. I've met almost all of his friends, he's met all of mine; we drive to Denny's at night and share drug stories, and I hope to God that he doesn't notice me staring at him. But we're not dating. Honestly, I do still love him and do still want to date him, but I have to get healthy first. Although, knowing him, he'll be completely over me when that happens. I have my prayers to give me hope in this situation; sometimes hope is all we have to hold on to.


Danielle

How to Destress

Do you suffer from stress? Anxiety? If so, how do you control it? For people like me, who have poor stress management habits, we often try to control the stress by controlling other things in our lives. In my case, I would waste hours trying to fit into what other’s call “societies’ norm”: taller than my 5’4” frame, slim, bigger breasts, straighter hair. I believed that once I controlled my body, I could finally control my anxiety and stress. However, when I (finally) went to my doctor, she mentioned some other ways to control my stress. They're loads better than what I was doing!

Be healthy: Super hypocritical for me to write, I know, but it’s true! Being healthy is the most love you can show to your body. Try to gradually cut out the excess caffeine, sugar, and salt, and replace those foods/drinks with healthier choices. Drink tons of water and tea! Because I can’t eat most of my favorite fruits anymore, I’ve fallen in love with Honest Tea brand green tea. It’s perfectly sweet, and everything about it is 100% organic so you don’t have to worry where it came from.

Be open: The main reason why my stress even progressed into an illness was because I refused to talk about it. I had stopped going to therapy a few weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend, and I had remained quiet about the anxiety I felt for months. Finally I went to the doctor last week, started talking to my friends about my feelings, and made more contact with my ex. My best friends are always very supportive (and if yours are not, cut them loose).

Be comfortable: This is nothing anyone can do overnight. I’m still trying to feel comfortable with myself, and I started in 9th grade! The step I’ve been taking recently is not wearing makeup when I’m at work (by the way, check out Rachel Rabbit White’s No Make Up Week Project). This takes the pressure off trying to look pretty for other people, which we shouldn’t have to do anyways.

While these tactics work for me, sometimes being healthy, open, and comfortable in your own skin isn’t enough. My twin sister, my brother, and our adopted mother all take medicine to control their anxiety. It’s all about finding the perfect strategies that work for you.

Danielle Miller